The other day I was walking past a posh looking, new and healthy “fast” food type of restaurant; I went inside to learn the footprint. You see, they use kiosks where you choose your own food and I don’t like to go into places where I am caught off guard as to what to do or how to order (think Starbucks).

So today, I decided that I would try said place. I used the ginormous iPads and ordered my salad…. and selected the Vegan Strips as my protein.

The salad looked delicious and I was so excited to get home after lots of errands, and just eat. As I dived into the salad, I noticed how white the strips looked, but thought nothing of it since I’m a schmuck. Several bites in… because the first 5 bites my brain was malfunctioning, I realized that it did taste rather chickeny. Naturally, I took yet another bite… to confirm my suspicions.

Not wanting to schlep back to the restaurant, I tried to google images of vegan strips and this F- restaurant. Sure enough, the strips they showed vs. what I had eaten, were different. Thus, I went back to the store, salad in hand.

When I got to the front- as I made a b-line for it, I asked the person if that was real chicken; sure enough, it was.

Thus, I asked to see the manager- to which he replied, “I am the manager.” So I asked for his manager and was told, “he is not in.”

Needless to say, there are times in one’s life where some situations calls for yelling… and this was that time.

After I got my $12 (for a fucking salad) back, I told him I was a vegetarian AND kosher and this was the worst thing (food wise) that could have happened.

“Whoops… sorry about that. This type of thing doesn’t usually happen,” he said.

It’s a good thing I didn’t have a peanut allergy because apparently, sometimes those things do happen.