This evening I went to the local office supply store to purchase printer cartridges. As I waited in line, the gentleman behind the counter was doing something that annoys the bejesus out of me….
He was chewing his gum and breathing through his nose; the kinds of breaths a doctor would ask of you during a routine exam. Instantly my tolerance level went from the little I began with, to less than zero. And I started to think, what other things annoy me.
Thus… here is the list:
Seeing people chew gum in public- as if they’ve put an entire bag of Big League Chew in their mouths- that kind of chew.
People who try to be discreet while chewing gum.
Hearing people breathe through their noses.
When one tries to quietly open their movie food and then neatly stow it away until the next binge.
Cashiers who talk rather than bag.
People who wait for the cashier to bag their food as if their butler at home unpacks it for them as well.
Chatty people with clerks.
Diners who cut one piece of food at a time and place their knives and fork down in between bites.
People who fold their napkins during each wipe.
People who sit for an extra 20 minutes at the dinner table when everyone’s been done for an hour.
People who lick envelopes.
People who lick their fingers to turn the pages of their reading material.
Anyone who immediately slips into slippers and carefully places their shoes in their perspective cubbies upon returning home for the evening.
Reading glasses on chains.
Reading glasses on the bridges of noses.
Pencils behind one’s ear.
Women who sit at a special make-up desk and apply make-up.
Anyone who has to don a robe AND slippers to go from the bed.
People who sit up straight- all the time.
Women who wear Bermuda shorts 4″ too long.
Dorky sun hats as if we’re all working in the rice fields.
Anyone who applies lotion before bed to their elbows and hands.
When one tries to muffle a burp.
People who are actually reading anything out in public instead of actually eaves dropping like most.
When someone tries to hold their silverware like Europeans.
Wine connoisseurs or anyone who has to pretentiously sniff the cork and jiggle the wine before making slurping noises as if determining the origin of the grapes.
People who wear whales on their apparel.
And, so this list doesn’t drey on and on, the number one thing that annoys me is the sound that comes from a sneaker with memory foam of some sort, that makes that fartish sound with each step.