I’ve recently found myself in some very tough situations. I have had little time to frequent the bathroom. Perhaps I should reduce my liquid intake during the day to avoid this situation, but nonetheless, it’s happened several times.
I start to feel the urgency but realize I am in the midst of an important client meeting. I’ll squeeze and wiggle, perhaps sit on the edge of my chair as if somehow able to push it back up. Other times, I am able to keep that feeling at bay until it comes back moments later, tenfold.
Recently it has happened while en route from work. No matter how hard I squeeze and jiggle, I’m faced with the daunting task of planning my exit. Literally I have to sit in my parked car for several minutes, as I figure out how to get in the house unscathed.
Do I have time to unbutton my pants? What will I do if I can’t get up the steps? Are there clothes I could be wearing that would be easier in situations like these?
And 9/10 times, I’m unable to execute my plan and pull my pants down far enough to be home free.
So, last evening I purchased lady diapers- and thought I would see how they work- for the off chance that I have even less control over my bladder. Fearing that it would leak, I sat on the toilet, and urinated into my diaper- after all, I can’t be at work and trying this out for the first time, uncertain of its protection.
What I didn’t plan for, was my child who was momentarily concerned she had depression, see me use a diaper.
My Child’s Likely Mental Checklist:
- First therapist would rather shoot herself than do family therapy.
- Friend of mom shot himself
- Mom shat herself.
- No matter what, I’m fucked.