In short, a long time friend decided to end his life- and as with all deaths, the phone calls from everyone I’ve ever known, began pouring in.
What you also need to know is that I am rarely alone- there is always some child I need to tote here or there- add that to hubby’s rule of, “no putting the cell to your ear,” and I’m sure you can figure out what happened next.
When my third call rang in, I instantly prefaced the caller with, I’m in the car, taking my child to her worry doctor- “don’t be graphic.” Unfortunately, my friend was very upset and did not hear that.
Needless to say, the call went well for the first 13 minutes of the conversation, until out of nowhere, my friend dropped the explicit detail of how.
Immediately, I looked into my rear view mirror and locked eyes with my fully engaged child.
Fast forward to sitting in our lady’s office….
Kid- I have a lot of talk about!
Therapist- OK! What do you want to start with?
Kid – Well, mom’s friend died… well, he didn’t actually die, he killed himself and I heard all about it because she was on speaker.
Therapist (Judgmentally eyeing me)
Me- (Secretly gesturing to her that he shot himself) …So naturally she had questions…
Kid- I just asked mom if I was also depressed.
Me- And I told her that she is just anxious and nothing like my friend….
Therapist- (To me, IN FRONT OF CHILD) So are you worried that she would commit suicide?
I’m not sure what happened after that bomb, as my brain was back in recalculation mode of how much longer we would need to be in therapy.