The Bachelor

I’m watching this vomit because my middle child has been counting down the days! Now, it’s only been on for ten minutes and I am ready to denounce being a female. It is so humiliating and embarrassing to watch these women, prance in these prom gowns and trying to make a lasting first impression.

One woman who is a realtor like the bachelor, hopes “they’ll both be off the market,” while another woman gave him “elephant” cuff links so he doesn’t forget her. The “nanny,” who decided to dangle from a cliff to show how adventurous she was, drove up in a 1965 Mustang and said, “I may be young, but I still enjoy the classics.”

But it was the woman from Weiner town who brought him a “little weiner”  asked if he already had a “little weiner,” who has caused me to wonder how I would make my entrance.

Imagine this:

Hi, I’m Rochelle. I’m as desperate as the rest of the women you’ll be meeting but I know you can relate. I didn’t want to wear a dress- I’m more comfortable in sweats. I’ll be inside hanging by the fridge; I’m starving! Waiting for these idiots to do their dog and pony shows has really pissed me off. The good thing is, I don’t have to try to make you remember me because I’ll be the only one who gives a shit, eating in my sweats.

 

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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