Monthly Archives: September 2017

Things That Make Me Go, “Hmm.”

Sitting on a warm toilet seat. Taking the last sip of water only to see somebody else’s lipstick stains. Getting ready to spread a barely used container of butter over my bagel, but finding 10,000 poppy seeds from someone else’s. … Continue reading

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Six in One, Half Dozen of The Other

Its really a toss up: stepping in wet dog food or stepping in warm dog shit. Both make me want to burn my foot off.

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Alice Wouldn’t Stand For This

This evening I got home late from a doctor’s appointment with one of my kids- at the ripe hour of dinner time. I wasn’t in the house 10 seconds before the whines of, “I’m starving! Nobody fed us! I want … Continue reading

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Just Pick A Color

One of the good things about hubby traveling is that some places sell certain products cheaper overseas. Case in point: Havianas- the flip flip. In the US, these flip flops could range from $18+, but in Brazil where they’re made, … Continue reading

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How Did He Die?

The other day my mother told me that her doorman died suddenly- unfortunately, my hypochondriac child overheard. Knowing full well it had to be a heart attack, she asked me if a kid could get it. I told her no … Continue reading

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Jesus Love You

The other week I went to a church to honor our local heroes- and write an article; it was the anniversary of September 11th. While sitting in the back, next to the Vestry woman, she informed me that I could go up … Continue reading

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Shit Storm

My elderly dog had doody stuck between her legs, caught in her fur. I meant to clean her… Unfortunately, a few days went by and the blockage gave way- causing my dog to drag her ass along my floors. Now, I did … Continue reading

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Fine, You Do It.

Patience is something I could use more of- in fact, if I could buy it at a store, I’d stock up on it. I am not one who likes to stand idle at the checkout line and have someone else … Continue reading

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All The Way To China

While waiting for my parents to arrive at the restaurant we were dining, my children started talking about Temple- out of the blue. When I asked my eldest to repeat herself, she said, “a girl went to a bar and … Continue reading

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