While sitting in the conference room discussing the final step in my grandfather’s life… and by conference room I mean, the lobby by the elevators, the nurse asked my mother if he had an Advanced Directive. “No,” was her reply. Actually, it went something more like this:

Mother: No… but I’m making the decision to not resuscitate; He’s 93, he doesn’t know where he is and just sleeps all day.

Me: (eyeballs wide, eyebrows twisted)

Nurse: OK, so we’ll change the code to a DNR.

Me: Like that? That’s all it takes? You just making the decision for him??

Mother: Rochelle, he has no quality of life…..

Me: (in agreement but surprised) But you want all heroic measures for you??

Mother: I’m only 69 years old….

Me: Do you have an advanced directive?

Mother: I don’t but I have a will and it says take all necessary precautions.

Me: So in other words, I can still override that choice?

Mother: (self-doubting) You’ll tell whomever is in charge that I want all heroic measures taken.

Me: Well, you better as sister because after this little conversation, it seems I’d be the judge of that.

Nurse: So we’re good with changing the code then.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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