Monthly Archives: August 2017

Toys R Us

One of my kids is turning 11 in 11 days. Since coming home to the empty playroom, she has requested we buy her a “toy” at Toys R Us for her birthday. My child, who is getting the body of … Continue reading

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Scummy In My Tummy

The other day my eldest wanted to bake cookies. I was busy tutoring two kids at the same time, we had visitors in and out of the house, and I gave her complete permission to do this on her own. … Continue reading

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I Shart The Sheriff

I haven’t seen a movie in months! Last night, right as I was getting my shoes on to leave for the theater, I decided I should try to make. I also haven’t had to shut the door since my kids … Continue reading

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Eminem

My youngest, has been asking me to play, “Lose yourself,” by Eminem for most of this week. I finally played it en route to a birthday party when I noted his chatter had ended. As I looked through my rearview … Continue reading

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42

My son came home from his father’s office a few weeks ago, and he informed me that daddy owed him $12 for cursing. Actually, his officemates may have been a significant contributor to the pot. Yet, since he’s come home … Continue reading

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What’s On Your Tombstone?

Some sayings I think would be appropriate on a gravestone (for my grandfather). I didn’t say kind, I said appropriate …. If I were any better it would be illegal Found the Green Blackbird Trust me, I wouldn’t lie I … Continue reading

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12-Days Parody

On the eleventh day of hospice my social worker will send to me… 11 types of pain meds 10 forms to sign 9 types of “lifters” 8 pads a plenty 7 hours of aides per week 6 days of speech … Continue reading

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Move It… Lady!

Excuse me for having zero tolerance within the same season but I really dislike when I am waiting for a spot in an overcrowded lot, and the one person with the power to grant me a spot, has to take … Continue reading

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Ok, Uh-huh, Ok, Yeah

There is nothing more annoying than going to give your credit card to a merchant via the phone, and hearing them interject with their “gotchas” in between the sets of four numbers. I know how to say it slowly…. but … Continue reading

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Now, I’m done.

Since I don’t know who to contact to update the definition of the word Hospice, I thought I’d simply provide it below. Hospice (noun) An end of life provider whose prime concern is enforcing petty pet policies, employing staffers with … Continue reading

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