Monthly Archives: November 2016

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Today I decided to hang lights in my office- just to liven the place up. Within one minute of unwinding the perfectly wrapped lights, I had them tangled and unusable. It literally took me 20 minutes to figure out where … Continue reading

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Back to the Elevator

Remember the other day when I entered the elevator and saw a man in a chair, sitting there and pressing buttons for the riders? Upon further thought, how shitty of a mind do you have to have, that your best … Continue reading

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Ice Castles

While sitting at my child’s lesson, I brought up a memory from the 1978 film, Ice Castles. Not sure why, but my mind could actually see Robbie Benson walking onto the ice and helping Alexis off the ice. And then … Continue reading

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Going Up?

Today, while entering the local elevator, there was an elderly gentleman sitting by the keypad and taking requests for floors. So I was thinking, which would be worse: being a door front person at an apartment building, an aid to … Continue reading

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Teaching Positive Body Image

After the Halo awards and hubby’s “ugly” comment, I decided to try to only talk positive. However, while driving past a bus stop, I thought I spotted an elderly woman with cankles. “Look at those legs,” I mistakenly said. Thankfully, … Continue reading

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16 Candles

After watching multiple youtube trailers on movies from the 80s and 90s, we decided upon 16 candles. Ass wipe Asshole “Do it” Dip Shits Sex Tits Period Screw around Have a cow Retarded Bag a babe … “Bag a babe? … Continue reading

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Speaker Phone

Today en route to the pediatrician, I was on the phone with some of my friends. When I told them why we were headed there, they said, “well good! She will have to start eating better or else she’ll need … Continue reading

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Fleets

During today’s doctor’s visit, she asked my child about all the foods she eats- despite me cutting her off at the quick and saying she only eats noodles and butter or cheese. When the doctor was finishing her exam, she … Continue reading

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Close Encounters

Today I was taking my child to the pediatrician- she had a fever and I was quite certain she was contagious. That being said, we sat on the opposite side of the vacant office. Moments later, a parent and child … Continue reading

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Beautiful

The other evening, we were watching the Halo awards and young people around the country were being honored for their heroism. After each different artist sang, they thanked the young good doers and told them how special and beautiful they … Continue reading

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