Monthly Archives: March 2016

Me, A Mohel

This morning, while the moon was still out, I was preparing my crockpot for another soup: Carrot Tomato. And while I was getting my peeler, I noticed how humanly large my carrots were. So I did what any Jew would do, when … Continue reading

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Beggars Can’t Be Choosers

Hubby was away during the onset of our holiday, and I was at my tiredest by the fifth day. So much so that I invited my elderly grandfather to join us for dinner and a playdate, code for: could you … Continue reading

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Cross your T’s and dot your i’s

Thanks to motherhood and a lazy kegel, I now have to cross my legs and pray that when I sneeze a few things don’t happen…. urinating or farting. I’m not sure exactly when the latter has happened, but all too … Continue reading

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Last of the Mohicans

Today I was trying to gain government clearance on a top secret mission… or trying to order new checks over the phone. Lady: Hi, could I please have your first and last name? Me: Sue Smith Lady: Thank you. And … Continue reading

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Asshole! Mother Fucker!

It amazes me how spontaneous and animated people get when they’re behind the wheel of their car and someone either cuts them off or slows them down. The cursing and carrying on that happens is really just amazing and would … Continue reading

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Deja Vous- Mahjongg Style

When I was a little girl, I used to remember the sound of the tiles being shuffled as my mother and her group played Mahjongg. I would fall asleep to the noise and it was very comforting to me. This … Continue reading

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You Have Something In Your Teeth

I spent hours choosing the fabric from which to make my drapes, sewing them, making the cornice and then hanging them. And I thought for a novice that I did a pretty good job, that is… until Magnifying Mother entered the room. But let’s … Continue reading

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Patty Panic

When my kids are sick- my mom says, “did you call the doctor?” When they have a high fever she says, “you run to the doctor for everything else, why wouldn’t you take them now?” And when I have a … Continue reading

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If You Give A Mouse A Pancake

It all started when I ordered a rug for my den; the den which I never sit in. “You’ve got no blue in your room besides the rug,” my mother chimed. So… I went to buy fabric to make curtains. … Continue reading

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Graduation Day

My eldest graduated from her Worry doctor after a little more than a year; she is doing so well! Now we can spend our days running to ENTs and Audiology appointments when I’m not busy schlepping my other daughter to her … Continue reading

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