Doody Calls

If you know me, you know that I shit where I eat- almost literally.

I will sooner have a kidney problem than use a public restroom and I would sooner soil my pants, than try to squat in public.

And the latter part, came last week. I was at my job when all of a sudden, my boss decided to do a pop in visit. I could hear my stomach rumble as I tried to determine which food I consumed, that sent my bowels in an uproar. Was it the Jamaican coffee?

In any event, louder it rumbled and I could feel my sphincter losing its grip by the time my boss was finished looking at whatever it was he wanted.

I had a decision to make- try to find coverage for my meeting that I had and run home, or…. dare to use the bathroom.

With time not on my side, I opted to use the bathroom- grabbed my own toilet paper, Lysol spray and was off.

Unfortunately, a group of coworkers who usually dine in the room where the bathroom resides was walking that way when I asked in my, I’m going to explode voice, “don’t you have to be somewhere else?”

“We’re going; just getting our lunches from the fridge.”

As I waited for them to get their things, I ran into the room and found yet another co-worker this time with customers who were taking an exam.

Again I asked, “don’t you need to be somewhere else?”

“They’re finishing up a test first…”

“Can’t you give them the answer????”

Seeing what was in my bag and the desperation on my face and in my voice, I was immediately left alone to do my business.

And wouldn’t you know, I had to escape to the bathroom the next day as well!

Big problem mon!

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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