Monthly Archives: March 2014

Often times I’ll do a “what’s the news” with my younger colleagues. And this is what I’ll hear… I’m getting a retainer. I am going to change my earrings. I’m going to play x-box all day. My expander is coming … Continue reading →

I’ve been sitting through some meetings with couples and sometimes my mind wanders. For example, often I’ll be thinking about how these two bland individuals do the horizontal mambo in bed. And the more couples that I meet with the … Continue reading →

Not that I watch this show but… it would make sense to cast someone Jewish.

“I’m looking for new recipes for my family of three and not sure what to make, any ideas?” Ah, call your fucking mother?

Another problem I have with FB is this: “I’m thinking of running and not sure which water bottle of these 10 I took the time to purchase and post, I should use. Please post why or why not for each. … Continue reading →

When asking my eldest why she sits alone at the end of the lunch table, not talking to others she replied, “I don’t want them spitting on my food while they talk.” My bad.

I apologize to any friend after 1994 for not having memorized your phone number.

I’m sure I’ve posted about this, but it remains an issue for me. The whole FB birthday bullshit. Are people getting extra “likes” because they add things like, “hope you’re having a great day!… love you so much!….. hope it’s … Continue reading →

If you know me, you know that I shit where I eat- almost literally. I will sooner have a kidney problem than use a public restroom and I would sooner soil my pants, than try to squat in public. And … Continue reading →

Why is it that I am the one teaching my son how to go to the bathroom standing up?? My son had good aim, until I stepped in to perfect his pitch. He had the habit of standing arched with … Continue reading →