Monthly Archives: October 2013

Lunch Menu

My choices for lunchtime conversations have been this: Room A: discuss Breaking Bad and Mad Men Room B: discuss Hostages and Blacklist Now, for a while I was in Room A, eating only and not talking. When I ventured into … Continue reading

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Longitude vs. Latitude

After an entire year and a half drawing pictures of how to plae the stripieness of my pillows onto my bed, my housekeeper listened. However, I now need to pull out my drawing pad since new nanny is now placing … Continue reading

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Salvation Army

Hubby feels the need to shop online at the virtual yardsale for more shit we don’t need and can afford top dollar for. So couple that with the fact that my slew of children wear the exact same clothing 4 … Continue reading

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Toys For Us

I’ve decided that the only way to punish my children is to purchase expensive toys and then take them away. Unfortunately, I have to keep purchasing bigger and better things just to get their fucking, momentary attention. To date, they … Continue reading

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Bait and Switch

No matter how many pictures I draw, nor how many times I charade my explicit directions, the maid continues to place my shampoo on hubby’s side of the shower, and his stuff on mine! After 20 times of her defiant … Continue reading

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The Motherload

The other day I had a conference where both ex’s showed up… plus 1: the stepmother. Now, I don’t teach high school and the two are only married a little over two years- so why did she come and take … Continue reading

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Lifetouch

No matter how many years I try to add more make up and jazzy clothing for picture day, I still look washed out and ugly. Two very impossible things that annually occur when I’m told to place my feet on … Continue reading

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$10/Hour

…gets you this: a night out with hubby and then coming home to clear the dirty dishes and petrified food from the table, after you take the sitter home.

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Tears of A Clowns

My definition of peace- When my offspring are crying from within their own bedrooms because daddy finally yelled at them to stay put. …At last.

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50 Shades of Ash

I cannot get my hair back to the color it once was- and its in part because my Rosetta Stone doesn’t doesn’t speak Blonde. That’s right, apparently I cannot find the correct translation for “golden.” However, it seems, that I’ve … Continue reading

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