Monthly Archives: March 2012

Ass Permanance

A while back, we replaced our bathroom toilet- good news, you’d think. Wrong! The problem is: it’s slightly higher than our other toilets, so when I am stammering in, in the middle of the night, I smack my ass against … Continue reading

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Play Time

Every day my kids play make believe; princesses to be exact. And today, I gave nanny 4 hours off because I’m a shmuck. So when asked to be their patient getting their teeth cleaned, I said, “can’t we play Sleeping … Continue reading

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Play Time

Every day my kids play make believe; princesses to be exact. And today, I gave nanny 4 hours off because I’m a shmuck. So when asked to be their patient getting their teeth cleaned, I said, “can’t we play Sleeping … Continue reading

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Nighty, Night

This afternoon my eldest child was making in the bathroom when she ran out of toilet paper. When I came in, she said, “look mommy, my poopy is sleeping; look at the toilet paper covering it like a blanket.”  

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Can’t Touch That

This morning as I went to reach for my razor, I noticed a foreign hair much to my chagrin. When I inquired about my findings to hubby, he responded: “if it was on the left ledge, I used it.” Unfortunately, … Continue reading

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Good Night, Good Morning

I try to figure out just what our live in gardener is doing hour to hour. I see him putzing around the yard, eye to eye with each blade of grass, but I also see a spot of purple “flowers” … Continue reading

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Star Spangled Banner

A while ago, I decided to teach my students the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner and explained to them that each person born in this country should know the words. It went like this x 19: “I wasn’t born … Continue reading

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BCE

My 12 year old niece asked me to quiz her on her world history notes; she was studying Confucious. When I asked her the year he was born, she said (now I can’t recall what I ate for breakfast so … Continue reading

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Things I Miss

Sitting in bed and watching what I’d like to watch Eating a meal; seated; alone; without music Driving to a place I want to visit Dining in a restaurant I would like to dine Making alone Dressing alone A toyless … Continue reading

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Just A Minute

This afternoon I took my daughter to the local minute clinic, thinking it would be… just a minute. In a way, it was just a minute. A minute to figure out that the nurse spends at least 25 min. per … Continue reading

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