Monthly Archives: August 2011

Dumb Ass

A while back, Newest Nanny ran up the stairs from her apartment and said, “I think I heard an explosion.” Explosion? She clearly doesn’t speak well enough English and is mistaken, I thought. But, in fact, there was an explosion- … Continue reading

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Fright Night

My baby is on the move; crawling and climbing the stairs. In fact, he is so mobile, that he’ll use anything in his grasp to stand up and walk with it. That being said, while straightening up the kitchen the … Continue reading

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Three’s Company

I was thinking the other night, how much more lax I am with my third. One major example would be this: The bumpers. Bumpers? Yep, the bumpers. You see, when my eldest was born, I had these beautiful, plush bumpers … Continue reading

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You know I’ve grown up when…

1. I debone the “baby like” chicken by myself. 2. Kill all the spiders/bugs. 3. Plunge the toilets, albeit with a hazmat suit. 4. Reread 3.

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Meet the Fockers

My daughter keeps taking the combs and hiding them in her purses pleaced randomly throughout the house. So tonight after tubby, when I went to do their hair, I couldn’t find the comb. Me: Where’s the… comb? Middle: Gd-damn comb. … Continue reading

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Grow Up Already

The other night I decided it was time to bite the bullet and take my eldest to potty at night so that she can wake up dry. She is a deep sleeper or has zero bladder control at night. I … Continue reading

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Ocean Shitty

This past weekend we took a ride to the beach; but not to sunbathe. Nope. Hubby had other plans. It started out like this: “Let’s go Saturday morning to the beach,” said hubby. “I think we should go during the … Continue reading

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Moonies

My children have this habit of picking flowers from public gardens and then giving them to strangers. Real cute if there aren’t Jaycee Duggard’s in the world. So today, my two pushers decide to pass some petals to a woman … Continue reading

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Freckle Juice

Once again, my curious child opened her eyes and her mouth at the same time. While having ice cream after camp, she saw a child (thankfully) through the glass, and said, “mommy, what’s all that stuff around his face?” I’m … Continue reading

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Popcorn! Peanuts! Pimples

My eldest has quite the sense of sight; in fact, she often notices the sublime. Once, she had a friend over who had ginormous legs- to which she commented… thankfully just to me. But this morning, when getting ready for camp, I … Continue reading

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