Eats All Night thinks my boob is made from silly putty. Often, while guzzling down milk, he’ll “Popeye-esk” grab hold while doing a neck roll or gazing around the room.

While this may sound funny to you, imagine my mortification when he does it while I’m casually trying to disguise my nursing whence talking to the daily workers. Just the other day, the contractors came to survey the attic and began discussing “the plan.” Apparently Eats All Night wanted to cock block any discussion and appeared from under my shirt with my nip still viced between his gums. It was the “unclenching” smack of his lips that startled the men with the 411.

“Oh, you’re breast feeding? I guess he’s invading on hubby’s territory,” the man commented.

Whether it was the fact that my son exposed my stretched out mammary or that the contractor used the word breast and created a “visual,” I was suddenly wishing the entire exchange away.