Monthly Archives: October 2010

Can I get a note?

Dear Ms. P.E. Teacher, Please excuse my daughter as she has her period and cannot partake in class today… This afternoon while holding our youngest, hubby asked me, “is our child 6 weeks tomorrow?” And foolishly, I replied, “Yes.” But … Continue reading

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The Gardener

While visiting the local post office in the center of the small village in which I live, I was dumbfounded by an event that occurred right before my eyes. A patron was entering the post office as I was exiting … Continue reading

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As if

While sitting at a red light I was jamming to my kids’ music while scarfing down a falafel sandwich. Afterall, I don’t usually get to sit and eat and this was as close to dining as I was going to … Continue reading

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Pull Over

The other day I was late for pick up at the preschool; a cop pulled me over. He asked me if I knew that I was going 45 in a 25 mph area; I sat quiet for once, especially since … Continue reading

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Ah’Jew

Last week we hired a replacement for our horrific Austrian aupair; anĀ African AmericanĀ gal. Already cheerier by nature, the girls took to her instantly. What struck me as classic though, was when Eater came home from school and started spouting what … Continue reading

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Bess

All day long I am either breastfeeding or pumping. It’s become rather difficult to perform my other full time job: motherhood. So while I was pumping on the floor, I thought to myself: all I need is a brand on … Continue reading

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Homey Don’t Play That

Yesterday hubby called me and informed me we had an excessively large phone bill; an extra $200. Knowing that sounded abnormal, I asked how that could be. Turns out, Helga Von Smack called home and charged $200 of international calls … Continue reading

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How Much is Too Much?

Since the constant changing of the sheets/blankets/duvet, I quickly got with the program and placed a wee wee pad where Eats All Night and I sleep. However, there is still something happening within his properly placed diaper that I can’t … Continue reading

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Throw out the Peanut Butter

I remember when I was in my early 20s I took an entire can of honey roasted peanuts and blended them into peanut butter. At first, it was so delicious that I consumed half the can. Later that evening, as … Continue reading

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We’ve got the beat

The first time my heart nearly dropped was when I had my first child and noticed the front part of her skull “throbbing” when she cried. Fearing the worst, the Pediatrician informed me that was “normal.” Flash forward to kid … Continue reading

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