Excuse me

Lately I’ve been eating a lot of fiber bars; they’re really tastey.  They are also very gas inducing. Typically, I don’t mind the smell of my own methane, but recently, it’s taken a turn for the worse. I am bloated all day and gasy all night, creating what’s called, “the dutch oven” effect for hubby.

Usually I can sneak them by him, if the cat, dog or kids are around, but he’s on to me. So I struggle with holding them in as if I am in the midst of single men in a windowless room.

After a while, I look as if I am 9 months pregnant and can barely walk. So tonight, while sitting in a book store in the children’s empty section, I let one out, and then another and another. The loud ones don’t usually smell at all, but tonight it did. Instantly, as if on cue, a staff worker and patron came right into my section of the book store and stood perusing the selection of music, and all I could do was pretend I was unaware. You know, like farters on an airplane.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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