When the flight landed and I was stuck knee-standing in my window seat, waiting for the fronters to get the hell off, Lisa was staring directly at me. Naturally, I pretended I had no peripheral sight until she tapped me on the shoulder.
Loud Mouth Lisa: You know, I am sorry if I offended you so much you had to yell at me. I pray you get healed and enjoy your time in Flada.
Me: (Hmm) (head nod)
…Meanwhile, when it is my row, I hightail it out of there and find my mother and walker waiting for me. It was going to be a few more minutes until the wheel chair would arrive to take me to baggage claim.
That meant that I would be seeing LML walk off the plane. …And when she did, she made a b-line towards me and said…
LML: (handing me my hem seat) You forgot this- I hope you really do get better.
I get onto the plane with the alte kakers, take my seat in the middle… the others file in behind me and it appears that I may get the window seat or the row next to me if nobody else were to come onto the flight.
Then, I see the last of the stragglers, but one of them walks past my row and stops at the aisle behind me.
I could hear the “is it alright if I sit next to my wife and give you my aisle seat?It would be a win win for the both of us…”
From there, the lucky aisle recipient (aka: shut the fuck up already Lisa) continued the pleasantries all the way until Georgia, when I LMFS.
Me: (turning around, sticking my mask through the seat; taking out my noise canceling airpods) Do you think you could stop talking to them for one minute?
Me: (pointing to Airpods) These can’t cancel you out any further and I cannot sit and listen to your yip yapping bullshit a second longer! I am a sick woman! (in the head)
Her: (patronizing me) I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was talking loudly, you could have asked me nicely…
Me: You just don’t shut up! Bla blitty bla bla bla…. They don’t care that you are engaged and getting married in two years and that you are in real estate supporting yourself at the age of 25 (I call bullshit) after working in finance… they just got married and I’m sure don’t want to hear you either! On and on and on… stop flirting with the man and read a book like everyone else on the plane, but just stop talking!
…So either way, I could never have moved across the aisle or she’d be staring diagonally at my feet for the rest of the flight.
My biggest fear of flying was my legs swelling and me getting a blood clot. Thus, I wore my 20-30 compression socks and did my best to wiggle my piggies every so often.
I was fortunate to not have someone in the window seat, so I moved to that spot.
Before the flight took off, I noticed the entire row was empty! I was going to quickly get up and move to that row, until I noticed someone else quickly claim it.
Fast forward, I am beginning to think my legs should be elevated, so I placed my carry on under the middle seat and tried to place my ass as far up to the window as possible. To no avail, the bag would only reach my calves and not feet.
Meanwhile, across the row…
Needless to say, this healthy, old man put both his legs up, took off his shoes and wiggled his GD-feet.
I chose the pills. But the thing is, I am finally away! I can never get away because I am always at a doctor’s appointment or getting chemo. I could only go after a scan and a treatment, so time is limited.
Currently I am in sunny Flada and the weather has finally warmed up! I was going to start the fourteen day cycle of pills and avoid the sun and alcohol (and no, I don’t really drink but its the principle) but then I thought, when do I ever get to be Hans Solo in SOBE? So, I’ll wait until I return… and just take them during chemo…this way, I can ascertain lava from my ass (which btw has a set of testicles again).
…Besides, I shouldn’t be taking the steroids while on antibiotics… because this ole lady has her third UTI in one month, thank you very much. And, as one may know… with UTIs one can neither swim nor be in the sun, so move over testes and take that up the ass!
Well, there you have it! I would rather shit urine than be in some see through coffin getting pumped up with oxygen on steroids… that is, after I return from stellar vacation watching TV inside.
Well, if there is a 1% chance of something going wrong… we can all rest assured it will happen to me.
During my stereotactic radiation, I didn’t move, yet somehow… the beams managed to damage several areas on my spine, causing swelling. Now, I found out about the swelling via an MRI and the only reason I got the MRI is because I was falling.
Now, sadly enough, I knew I was not falling from a brain tumor… as I did two years ago. The first time I fell down the last four of my stairs out of nowhere. There wasn’t a warning; I didn’t feel any twitching.
At first, I thought I may have skipped the step but hours later, I tripped again, this time going up. To make a long story short, my left leg has zero strength from the swelling.
After the doctors consulted with a medical review team, I was given two options for trying to get this under control.
The first choice is to take a very high dose of steroids for two weeks and pray for no horrific side effects. The second choice is to spend one and a half hours a day for forty (say what?) days in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber with the hopes that the insanely high dose of oxygen will heal my back.