Fire Drill

Today my office building had our monthly fire drill and while I was able to manage the first one, today’s has really hurt me. It was all I could do to not stop, drop and roll to my designated spot. So, this evening I’ve been in bed with my heating pad, pain medication and plain club soda. That’s right, this pain has knocked the want for flavor out of my fizzy water.

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This afternoon I had to go get an X-Ray of my spine. So far that is a CT Scan, MRI and now X-ray. Perhaps the cause of death will be from too much radiation.

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Radiation Strikes Again

Today it was confirmed that the (literally) pain in my ass is indeed more cancer and I will need to go through a brief stint of radiation.

While I’ve yet to experience chemo- something that seems to be headed my way, radiation burns. The first time you go, you just lay on a table and relax for a few beeps, and then go home. The second time you go is when the shit hits the fan and it feels as if your insides are on fire while your bones are being stretched out of shape.

So yeah, I’m thrilled.

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I’ve Seen Too Much

I had my MRI Friday afternoon and I knew I’d be receiving my results via MyChart at some point. Well, this evening I got the “ding”.

No good has ever come from my opening that Pandora’s Box- never.

I was not planning on reading my MRI results; I just wanted to see if that is what the alert was for.

Unfortunately for me, I noticed my labs also came back. Figuring they can do no harm since I’m not a phlebotomist, all I did was scroll… until I stopped.

Apparently, I have some of those “red” flags before my bloodwork- and I’m aware of what the hell those things mean since I’ve seen them in the past.

Well, I will be waiting til Wednesday afternoon to talk to the doctors, but I have that sick pit in my stomach of this train being re-routed.

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Unknown Caller

For a brief while, I was reluctantly answering unknown calls on my cell because I was awaiting calls from nurses and schedulers. After I realized that I cannot manage my own appointments since they ask too much of me, like taking down the information they would give me, I put my mother in charge.

Now, some of the medical calls have subsided and for the most part, we’ll recognize a hospital number if a call should pop up on the screen.

The other afternoon, an unknown call was coming in on my mother’s phone. Since I was able to tell it was spam, I tried to decline the call. In the meantime, my mother answered the call and this is what ensued…

Mother: Hello?…Hello?

Bombay: Hello is this Archoosh Shooorsoosh?

Me: (to mom) Hang up! It’s a telemarketer!

Mother: (sh to Rochelle) Who do you want?

Bombay: Mumble, jumble, jumble, mumble.

Me: (trying to press “end call”)Just hang up already! It’s nobody!

Mother: Would you let me hear what they want!

Me: They don’t want anything other than to sell you something!

Bombay: (proceeds to say something about something)

Mother: ….And what do you want?

Me: (pressing the screen to no avail) HANG UP! HANG UP ALREADY!!!!

Mother: Would you just let me find out, for crying out loud you’re yelling at me!

Me: (Finally she hangs up after repeated attempts at ending the call on a screen that is not touch screen) You don’t answer the phone for unknown calls!

Mother: It could have been a referral for a client….

Me: He was in India!

So, needless to say, after an enjoyable car ride to the cancer center, I think she learned to not answer those calls.

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What I meant by my post a few days ago- the one where I mentioned that I was feeling jelly… I did not mean for anyone to feel the need to do.

I just want to be remembered, like… utensils when picking up “to go” food.

Putting me in your nightly thoughts for good wishes or even just thinking, “she still sick?” is enough.

…And if you wanted to go to town, simply toss out there, “do you know that mother of three, with the stage four metastatic lung cancer? Well she’s still working, can you believe it?!”

Yep, either of those two things every so often would be great.

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Rain Man

One of the side effects of either brain radiation or my medicine, is short term memory loss (or word recall). Additionally, I can no longer multi-task in most situations. For example, if I am on the phone with a friend, gone are the days where I can simultaneously converse to my children. If someone is talking to me and then someone else walks by humming ever so softly, my mind drifts with them. If I’m carrying a few things in my hand and have to reach into my bag for something else whilst walking, then I have to stop walking to focus. The list goes on but of course, I forget.

The other day while at work, I received a text from mother/hubby. Since I failed to remember to bring home two CDs from the hospital last week, hubby said he was going to go and get them. The key thing I missed, was that it was that day he was planning to drive the forty plus minutes and it was my duty to call ahead of time and ask for two CDs. Unfortunately for him, I thought he was telling me what he would do “soon,” and not “today,” and when I finally called for the CD, I failed to remember to ask for two. Needless to say, I cannot work and manage my texts.

Fast forward to today’s MRI.

I brought the one CD from the hospital hubby went to and was to give it to doctor #2 to upload and then get back for doctor #4. Additionally, I had to ask the MRI tech for two CDs of that.

Person 1: Rochelle Rochelle?

Me: That’s me.

Mother: Make sure to ask for two CDs! Don’t forget the two CDs.

Me: Got it; 2 CDs.

Person 1: Can you verify your DOB?

Me: (two CDs) 2.2.80. Can I get two CDs of my test?

Person 1: You’ll have to tell your tech.

Me: (looking on him for a pen) Okay.

Person 1: You have to take everything off for the test you’re getting. Here is a pair of underwear, socks and the robe. The robe goes on open in the front and then your one arm goes through the hole. When you’re done, put your things in the locker and have a seat.

Me: (Two CDs, Two CDs Two CDs)(What do I take off? The gown…?)

For the next 1 hour and 32 minutes, I sat in a waiting room reminiscence of a scene from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, listening to four episodes of the fixer upper and an two simultaneous conversations- one of them being in Spanish. Lastly, two other women were listening to James Brown on headphones at 200 decibels.

Meanwhile, I am trying to remember I needed to ask for Two Cds but during one of the episodes where they were putting in a center beam on a ceiling that was being raised, I started to forget that I had to ask something.

Person 2: Rochelle Rochelle?

Me: Finally! I’ve been waiting so long! I am going to need two Cds of my test.

Person 2: I am just the nurse; you’ll have to ask the tech.

Me: Can you verify your full name and DOB?

Twenty-five minutes later…

Person 3: Rochelle Rochelle?

Me: That’s me!

Person 3: Can you tell me your name and DOB?

Me: Are you the tech?

Person 3: Yes, I’ll be doing your MRI.

Me: I need two CDs of the test.

Person 3: We can only give you one.

Me: (Shit. Hubby and Mother will kill me) I was told I could have two.

Person 3: Nope, we can only do one.

Me: I need Two CDs. I was told I could have two. I’ve waited since 3pm and its 4:32pm and I need two CDs for my doctors.

Person 3: Fine. But you’ll have to keep it between you and me; I’m told we can only give one.

So, I do the MRI… forty minutes trying to stay awake and not jerk my body, plus remember to ask for the fucking CDs- since I’ve forgotten to take the CDs upon dismissal!

Me: Can I have the 2 CDs now?

Person 3: It will take 10-15 minutes; I’ll bring them to you after you change.

So, I go change, chanting once again to “get the CDs” and head to the lobby where mother was patiently waiting.

Mother: Where are the CDs?

Needless to say, we really only needed just the one CD… for I forgot I am no longer seeing doctor #3!

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You’re Mobile?!

The past two days I’ve been walking at work. No the pain isn’t gone; it’s definitely painful to walk.

Rochelle, if you’re still in the same amount of pain as before, then why are you walking?

It’s simple! The doctor mentioned her concern for the amount of pain I’m in, that I’m using a scooter at work and because of this concern, she’s thinking to put me on some chemo.

So yeah, I’m practically running around the building.

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What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

I have been green with envy over another woman’s good fortune after only a few minutes in the hood. And I know that every person has their own circumstances for what they would and would not do if ever a time came where they needed the help of others. But there is a need from the community and then there is a want.

I can understand needing the financial compassion of others due to bills piling up from not being able to work while being treated. Also, I could understand wanting to have been able to work to pay for college and knowing that the only way that may be possible is to ask for a GoFundMe. What I cannot wrap my head around, is when one says they live check to check but they’re asking for $$,$$$ for a Kid Cave. Say what? Surely you meant to write college fund, right?

Add to the fact that recently I heard the funds that were needed to build said Cave were donated in full… so now that money, has become liveable money.

As if this extraordinary fund isn’t enough, meals have been round the clock in addition to $,$$$ in gift cards.

So yeah, considering we both sick, we both got kids… no shit I’m envious. I’m envious that the community is constantly rallying others to remember her.

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You Spin Me Round

I am exhausted every day from waking with my high schooler at 6:30 am and then going strong til 8:00 pm. Cook, clean, work, repeat. At some point, I am going to have to focus on just the cancer just to get a little r & r.

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